Saturday, June 27, 2009

y am i feeling this way.
i'm confused.
i know i should not feel this way.
but today.
i'm really very sad.

i dunno whether am i make any right or wrong choice.
i dunno wad i am doing.
but i will really think and do what my mind want.
i'm firm.
i know my dearest friends want me to use my heart to decide.
to follow my heart.
thxs for the advices and help.

i will use time to prove everything.
i will wish tat everything is true.
i will wish tat i have no regrets in the near future.

i am not mature. i agree..
i do not know how to handle relationship. i agree.
i am always throwing my temper. i agree.

hais.
y is there "love" & "relationship"?
y did i start on my first relationship?
if i nv had any, what will i be now?
happier or?

i'm always thinking that i'm too young for relationship.
izzit becox i have too high of expectation?
or izzit i take things for granted?
or izzit no one make me satisfied?

i was shocked.
i had suicidal thoughts today.
but i did not tell anyone?

i think i need to see a psychiatrist.
frankly speaking, i really wish tat time will turn back.
i wish tat none of these would happen.
if there's no start, there won be ending.
there won be tearing up of each other hearts.

friends are supporting me.
i'm glad i have them.
they always give me their comments and help me as much as they can.
w/o them, i might be more lost.

what do i want in life?
i had asked this qns upteens times.
why can't i just live each day like what my friends are doing?
why must i keep thinking of future?

i feel so disappointed in myself.
i had many drafts in my phone.
i always kept those feelings of mine inside.
esp whenever when i angry.
why can't i just accept the fact?

i feel so fuck up wid myself.
i am so unhappy.
i am stress over it.

maybe this sentence is right. " i can't see the situations as clear as the audience"
perhaps my friends are right in their prediction.
but ..
still..
i feel like a dumb ass.
becox i had no one to blame to, except myself.
i fall in love on my own accord initially.
not anyone.
but myself.


.now.. all i wish is..
to be simple..
myself.
so tat i won teared again.
i have no regrets in life.
neither will i want to feel regret in future.

bb